Sleep-Deprived Bliss

     Two weeks ago our son was born! Despite the sleep deprivation and other circumstances coincident to having a newborn in our home, we are loving being parents. While we were in the hospital, I had an interesting experience that I want to relate, though a little background is necessary first.
     In Junior High and High School, I spent a large amount of my time playing video games on my computer. It was the predominant use of my time after school. However, once I left for college (I was barely 17 at the time), I began to feel bad about how much time I spent gaming and the kind of content in those games. I resolved to spend less time playing and to limit my gaming to Real-time Strategy games, which I felt were less violent and often less vulgar.
     By the time I was 21, I had just come back from spending two years as a missionary for my church during which time I hadn't spent any time gaming. I resolved then to stop playing games because I felt they were a waste of time. For the next four years, I went back and forth on this as I experienced times of boredom, stress, acquired new technology such as an iPod Touch, a Wii and other things that were still gaming but not the traditional kind of gaming I was used to. Every time I started getting too involved, I quiet but unshakable feeling came over me that I had more important things to do. That feeling was puzzling at times because it often didn't feel like I had anything better to do with my time.
     Over time, this quiet yet forceful feeling expanded to include the number and kinds of movies I would watch and the kinds of books I would read until it felt as if I was destined to never be able to do anything fun again. It forced me to rethink how I spent my leisure time and to find relaxing yet meaningful ways to occupy myself. I picked up new hobbies including racquetball, family history, non-fiction reading, etc. As I was adjusting to these changes, I thought to myself that God was trying to teach me self-discipline and to be a wise steward over my time.
     Fast-forward now to being in the hospital with my wife and our new baby. It was late at night and both mother and baby were finally sleeping. Due to some complications with the birth, my wife had been unable to get out of bed, leaving me to take care of our son. I was exhausted but I thought to myself, "now I have a chance to spend a few minutes doing whatever I want." I read a few articles on the internet and in the process a silly online game caught my attention and I allowed myself to get sucked in. After about an hour, I realized that it was more important for me to get some sleep so that I could take care of my son when he next woke up. As I shut down my computer, this thought came clearly to my mind in a way that I've learned to associate with God's voice: "This is why I've been teaching you to deny yourself and not get lost in seeking constant entertainment. Now you have the self-discipline to put your wife and your son ahead of yourself."
     I'm grateful for a Heavenly Father that knew years in advance how hard it would be for me to change and began helping me many years ago to start becoming the husband and father that he wants and needs me to be.

Slow to Anger

Today I had a frustrating morning. Two of my classmates made comments to me that rubbed some salt in a wound which was very upsetting. I spent a good deal of the afternoon at work telling myself to forget about it, to stop feeling angry. Despite this, the comments kept replaying in my mind along with inflammatory repsonses. I'm grateful I didn't actually say any of those things but thinking them kept me in a bad mood. By the time I came home tonight I had mostly cleared my mind.
After dinner I sat down to read in the scriptures for a while. While praying, I remembered a talk given by Gordon B. Hinckley, a leader of the LDS church who passed away in 2008, on the subject of anger. I read that talk tonight and several statements stood out to me, especially this one: "Happy is the man who can brush aside the offending remarks of another and go on his way." Another was a reference to a hymn entitled "School Thy Feelings." I'm grateful for talks like this. They help me to not only control any anger I feel but to do better at choosing not to be angry.
Here is a link to the talk: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/slow-to-anger?lang=eng&query=anger

Here is a link to a video of the talk if you can't use the video on the above link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HLKBPn9GEVM

Feeling Peace Inside

Last Monday evening my wife and I took a coworker of mine to visit Temple Square in downtown Salt Lake City, Utah. As we walked around the temple and through the visitor's centers, it simply felt good to be there. Temple Square has so much history but was constructed through so much sacrifice that the Holy Spirit seems especially present there. There is a special peace that I feel whenever I visit the grounds of an LDS Temple. It is easier to feel calm and at peace inside of myself when I am there. I know that one of the greatest blessings that I find in the gospel is experiencing peace. It is very easy for me to become busy or to get caught up in the thick of thin things, but keeping the commandments of God, particularly reading his word in the Scriptures and also speaking with him through prayer, fills me with a sense of peace and serenity. There is a prayer whose origin I do not remember but that includes the statement "God grant me serenity." And I believe that he does.

On Sincerity

     We had some friends from our congregation over on Wednesday night and we got on the subject of parenting. My wife and I are expecting our first child soon so the topic comes up frequently. Our guests made the usual kind of comments: "good luck with that," "I could never handle kids," or "I hate changing diapers." In general, it felt like their comments (and similar ones I have made in the past) were negative, flippant and probably didn't reflect how they really felt about children. 
     It seems common in my group of friends to act like this, saying what is expected, sounds funny or fits a stereotype. How often do I do that instead of saying what I really think or feel? My honest opinion is that one of the most important attributes of a parent is patience. It seems easy to skip over that and say something less sincere and less meaningful. I'm not saying that there isn't a place to be funny and make jokes, but perhaps we could all use a little more sincere conversation.

Organizing to Make a Difference

     I need to provide a little background about how LDS congregations are organized in order to explain the topic of this post. Within a typical LDS congregation, there is an Elders Quorum and a Relief Society which are something like a men's and a women's group respectively. One of the main functions of both of these groups is to provide service, and they often work together in accomplishing this.
     Each group has a president who has two counselors and a secretary. I currently am a counselor in my congregation's Elders Quorum. My primary responsibility is to oversee and organize service activities for the quorum. And here we come to the point. Our quorum does a wonderful job at performing "routine" kinds of service. We shovel snow for widows, help people move into/out of their homes, drive African refugees to a Swahili speaking congregation, and other simple, yet meaningful tasks. But my question is what can we do that is outside of the norm? I believe these acts of service our important, and very good in fact; but perhaps they limit my vision as to what we can accomplish because it is what we have always done. What can we do to broaden our vision?

(One hour later...)
     
     And Google comes through again. By searching "community service opportunities" I was able to find quite a few ideas that I hadn't thought of before. Several involve setting up 5K runs for MS or cancer, but there were some other ideas as well. I believe I'm a thinking a little broader than before. Do you have any ideas?

Perhaps be the Means...

     I hope that what I write here will be as much, if not more, about you as about me. I'm don't want to hide that I'm here to talk about my faith and living a Christian life. Where do we talk publicly, sincerely, humbly about our beliefs? Depending on your background, you might talk about your faith frequently; perhaps you don't have a particular faith or you are not religious. Regardless, I believe there will be something in this blog for each of you. 

     I've titled this blog "Perhaps be the Means" based on a verse of scripture. The quotation in full is:

And we have suffered all manner of afflictions, and all this, that perhaps we might be the means of saving some soul; and we supposed that our joy would be full if perhaps we could be the means of saving some. Alma 26:30

     My desire is that here, by relating my experiences of meeting life as a Christian, particularly as an LDS Christian, that you and I will both be blessed and have our faith reinforced. This is a place where I hope that you and I might "perhaps be the means" of bringing our souls and the souls of others closer to Christ.