Two weeks ago our son was born! Despite the sleep deprivation and other circumstances coincident to having a newborn in our home, we are loving being parents. While we were in the hospital, I had an interesting experience that I want to relate, though a little background is necessary first.
In Junior High and High School, I spent a large amount of my time playing video games on my computer. It was the predominant use of my time after school. However, once I left for college (I was barely 17 at the time), I began to feel bad about how much time I spent gaming and the kind of content in those games. I resolved to spend less time playing and to limit my gaming to Real-time Strategy games, which I felt were less violent and often less vulgar.
By the time I was 21, I had just come back from spending two years as a missionary for my church during which time I hadn't spent any time gaming. I resolved then to stop playing games because I felt they were a waste of time. For the next four years, I went back and forth on this as I experienced times of boredom, stress, acquired new technology such as an iPod Touch, a Wii and other things that were still gaming but not the traditional kind of gaming I was used to. Every time I started getting too involved, I quiet but unshakable feeling came over me that I had more important things to do. That feeling was puzzling at times because it often didn't feel like I had anything better to do with my time.
Over time, this quiet yet forceful feeling expanded to include the number and kinds of movies I would watch and the kinds of books I would read until it felt as if I was destined to never be able to do anything fun again. It forced me to rethink how I spent my leisure time and to find relaxing yet meaningful ways to occupy myself. I picked up new hobbies including racquetball, family history, non-fiction reading, etc. As I was adjusting to these changes, I thought to myself that God was trying to teach me self-discipline and to be a wise steward over my time.
Fast-forward now to being in the hospital with my wife and our new baby. It was late at night and both mother and baby were finally sleeping. Due to some complications with the birth, my wife had been unable to get out of bed, leaving me to take care of our son. I was exhausted but I thought to myself, "now I have a chance to spend a few minutes doing whatever I want." I read a few articles on the internet and in the process a silly online game caught my attention and I allowed myself to get sucked in. After about an hour, I realized that it was more important for me to get some sleep so that I could take care of my son when he next woke up. As I shut down my computer, this thought came clearly to my mind in a way that I've learned to associate with God's voice: "This is why I've been teaching you to deny yourself and not get lost in seeking constant entertainment. Now you have the self-discipline to put your wife and your son ahead of yourself."
I'm grateful for a Heavenly Father that knew years in advance how hard it would be for me to change and began helping me many years ago to start becoming the husband and father that he wants and needs me to be.
